AMH equals OMG

i think it was woody allen who said something about how the worst thing that can happen to a hypochondriac is for them to get sick and therefore in their minds eye confirm all of their paranoias.

this is sort of how i feel with respect to my fertility and pregnancy. i got the results for my AMH test and the reading was 0.55 which indicates a very low egg reserve. when i first found out i called my husband and cried like a banshee. i couldn't quite believe it was real. i guess this whole time i had kind of assumed that everyone else would be right and i was just panicking over nothing. perhaps the body just knows? or perhaps it is just wise for any woman in her early or mid-thirties to find out what's up with her body. that is what i think.

so with this news the good thing is we will be starting to try right away. not quite as right away as i hope for because husband wants to go on our honeymoon first, but right away as in the beginning of the year. January.  i want to be excited but it is hard when i know that i may have issues. many women with low AMH take a year plus to get pregnant or require treatments or donor eggs/adoption.

that said what keeps me hopeful is knowing that most women do not even get this test until they have an issue already. since i got it before trying there is always the possibility that i am one of many women who's numbers may or may not match mine but still go on to conceive two healthy babies. this is my greatest hope. i can't play around with the odds or anything BUT i can maintain hope. every online search, conversation with a doctor, and etc that i read is pretty trying so i have to be conservative yet optimistic. there is no mistake about it! we MUST try asap BUT there is definitely still a good chance we will have no issues.

i also had an HSG and an ultrasound. The HSG indicates that my tubes are clear but there may be mild scarring that delays fluids slightly. pretty good news overall. The ultrasound i am still waiting on but it appears i may have two teeny weeny fibroids both under two centimeters. one is in my uterus. the other is just on top of it. since they are so small they are probably not an issue, but i will watch the one inside there just in case.

So my plan is to try to stay optimistic and take VERY good care of myself. i have my first ever acupuncture appointment on monday evening.  i plan to meditate everyday and do yoga 4 times a week. i ordered the Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor, a conception kit and another fertility dvd. i plan to get some good meditation and hypnosis cds too. take warm baths. i cut out most caffeine, liquor and processed junk from my diet. i am gonna do everything i can to prepare myself for the journey ahead and make it as fertile as possible!

FSH, AMH, E2, HSG and a whole lotta letters

well i went in for all my blood work Monday. it comes back tomorrow. i must admit that i feel strange about it. i mean i kind of feel like if it comes back fine i will still be worried about my age. it will i guess make me feel like i have bought some time. it's just that this stuff is so ever changing. so if i am not worried about my numbers now i am worried about my numbers at 37. hopefully by then i will have good insurance where we are living.

I scheduled an HSG for next week and that is kind of scaring me. not sure why. they shoot radioactive dye through your tubes to make sure they are not blocked. it can also check for fibroids. i am scared mostly because of the teeny weeny chance there could be complications. but it seems like most women actually see an improvement if anything. i dunno.

i am probably crazy for having all of these tests done before i even start trying but alas, i am a go getter and a planner. a need to knower.