well my betas came in and they were excellent! They more than doubled from 200 to 500. I stop spotting entirely. I feel really good about this pregnancy now. It's such a blessing, such an amazing and wonderfulgift to be pregnant again.
as far as the pregnancy I'm not feeling much different than I did last time so far at least. I have a very strong suspicion that this is another boy and while I am a bit sad I will never have a daughter I am also thrilled at the prospect of my son having a baby brother and having another little baby boy to love. In fact I feel a bit greedy because really what would have made me saddest would be to never have a son. I don't know what it is I just always saw myself with the son. and of course really I know that any child that I had would be the love of my life and make me happy. So only mild nausea and intense exhaustion this time. I can't tell if it's because nursing made me less sensitive but I'm having really no breast tenderness this time.
I have my first ultrasound on july 30th and I'll be 7 weeks then I'm so excited!
Friday, July 18, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
um...wow
I don't know if it was weaning fully (my guess) or just living in the moment MORE and feeling grateful but the universe has given me another pregnancy!
Three days ago I started spotting and thought it was over. It was 9 or 10 DPO and I was feeling really out. I was sad to have another short LP and another month go by with no positive. Just because I knew some women spot during pregnancy I took a cheapee wondfo test. I thought I could see the tiniest teeniest shadow of a line but I also thought I might be willing it to mind. My temp had also spiked pretty high the last couple days though so I was curious.
The next morning my temp took a big dip but not below the cover line so I decided to test anyway. This time it was more than a shadow. This time I knew it was positive and a light FRER confirmed it. I was happy to see no spotting when I wiped but when I inspected further there was reddish blood. I was very nervous. That was 10 or 11DPO
Well this morning and yesterday my temp was back up! I am 13 or 14DPO and I am still spotting but it's very light and it has slowed. Feeling cautiously optimistic.
This pregnancy is also very special. Its cycle 7 even though its the first post weaning, the baby will be due St. Paddy's day with an Irish last name, the baby will come when our son is 2 and a half years old which is kind not perfect spacing wise!
I'll be getting blood work tomorrow and Thursday! Feeling very blessed!
Three days ago I started spotting and thought it was over. It was 9 or 10 DPO and I was feeling really out. I was sad to have another short LP and another month go by with no positive. Just because I knew some women spot during pregnancy I took a cheapee wondfo test. I thought I could see the tiniest teeniest shadow of a line but I also thought I might be willing it to mind. My temp had also spiked pretty high the last couple days though so I was curious.
The next morning my temp took a big dip but not below the cover line so I decided to test anyway. This time it was more than a shadow. This time I knew it was positive and a light FRER confirmed it. I was happy to see no spotting when I wiped but when I inspected further there was reddish blood. I was very nervous. That was 10 or 11DPO
Well this morning and yesterday my temp was back up! I am 13 or 14DPO and I am still spotting but it's very light and it has slowed. Feeling cautiously optimistic.
This pregnancy is also very special. Its cycle 7 even though its the first post weaning, the baby will be due St. Paddy's day with an Irish last name, the baby will come when our son is 2 and a half years old which is kind not perfect spacing wise!
I'll be getting blood work tomorrow and Thursday! Feeling very blessed!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
No matter what happens...
I am feeling more optimistic about our chances now that I have weaned than I did prior to weaning BUT I feel like its also important that I say;
No matter what happens I am more grateful than anyone on the planet that I have my sweet smart remarkable beautiful son. He is the light of my life and the center of my world. I will do everything in my power to give him a sibling and it will hurt me deeply if I cannot. I won't give up BUT I also won't let t destroy my happiness or my enjoyment of my current family. I won't let myself forget that it would only prove more deeply that he is such a miracle! Such an incredible wonderful kismet gift to my husband and I. What a beautiful good fortune. I am not even close to believing that we wont have another but I do have a list of things that I can focus on if we do not or it takes a good while:
1. Travel. I love to travel. We can't afford it much these days and a second child will make it even harder financially and logistically. It will be much more possible and sooner if we only have our son.
2. My son will get all of me. All of us! I do think a sibling would be wonderful for him too but there is no doubt in my mind that it would also split my focus. We have these wonderful little dates and excursions now that will be much harder upon arrival of a second child or even trough te pregnancy.
3. Enjoying my husband. Sleep and romance have been much easier since our son has grown out of some of the more codependent phases of his life. This would be temporary but would be upset by a new baby for sure.
4. Wanting what you have is better than having what you want. Hopes and desires are okay. Goals can be healthy but overall happiness should never hinge on something that is not in ones power to control. It seeps the joy from life. There is so much that I have now that many would give the world for. Hell I would give the world for it! I may not feel like our family is complete but I do feel that we are a perfect family. I do feel that I am happy.
5. Back to me. This is a hard one because I so love my identity as a mother. I love that nothing will ever take that away from me from here on out but I suppose I would also have a chance to focus more on myself again if things took a long time or didn't happen for us.
Again I am not even close to giving up on my dream for a bigger family. We are still too early in our journey and too much can happen. Life is top short though and I want to make sure I am enjoying and reveling in the beauty of it all. Sometimes I miss that amazing naiveity I had before we started trying for a second. I was so sure it would just happen again. I was so sure and it helped me to really enjoy my life. I want to recapture that.
I am 8DPO (possible 7) and not feeling like I am pregnant this cycle. It's too bad because I would love to be but I am still hopeful for the future. I am also praying for a spotting free 10 day + LP. This is the weird in between time when it's hard to know what might happen there. If I make it to July 5th with no spotting I will be grateful! Here hoping!
No matter what happens I am more grateful than anyone on the planet that I have my sweet smart remarkable beautiful son. He is the light of my life and the center of my world. I will do everything in my power to give him a sibling and it will hurt me deeply if I cannot. I won't give up BUT I also won't let t destroy my happiness or my enjoyment of my current family. I won't let myself forget that it would only prove more deeply that he is such a miracle! Such an incredible wonderful kismet gift to my husband and I. What a beautiful good fortune. I am not even close to believing that we wont have another but I do have a list of things that I can focus on if we do not or it takes a good while:
1. Travel. I love to travel. We can't afford it much these days and a second child will make it even harder financially and logistically. It will be much more possible and sooner if we only have our son.
2. My son will get all of me. All of us! I do think a sibling would be wonderful for him too but there is no doubt in my mind that it would also split my focus. We have these wonderful little dates and excursions now that will be much harder upon arrival of a second child or even trough te pregnancy.
3. Enjoying my husband. Sleep and romance have been much easier since our son has grown out of some of the more codependent phases of his life. This would be temporary but would be upset by a new baby for sure.
4. Wanting what you have is better than having what you want. Hopes and desires are okay. Goals can be healthy but overall happiness should never hinge on something that is not in ones power to control. It seeps the joy from life. There is so much that I have now that many would give the world for. Hell I would give the world for it! I may not feel like our family is complete but I do feel that we are a perfect family. I do feel that I am happy.
5. Back to me. This is a hard one because I so love my identity as a mother. I love that nothing will ever take that away from me from here on out but I suppose I would also have a chance to focus more on myself again if things took a long time or didn't happen for us.
Again I am not even close to giving up on my dream for a bigger family. We are still too early in our journey and too much can happen. Life is top short though and I want to make sure I am enjoying and reveling in the beauty of it all. Sometimes I miss that amazing naiveity I had before we started trying for a second. I was so sure it would just happen again. I was so sure and it helped me to really enjoy my life. I want to recapture that.
I am 8DPO (possible 7) and not feeling like I am pregnant this cycle. It's too bad because I would love to be but I am still hopeful for the future. I am also praying for a spotting free 10 day + LP. This is the weird in between time when it's hard to know what might happen there. If I make it to July 5th with no spotting I will be grateful! Here hoping!
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