NOT PREGNANT

Not even a little bit. Feeling so drained and completely over it right now. It's only month four but the obsessing has been going on a lot longer. Frankly i am feeling like i need a break from the intensity of trying to make this happen. I wont stop entirely but i need to dial it down. I am 10DPO but having dark brown thick clotty blood. So i wont be having a holiday baby. Not only were my instincts wrong but I feel very nervous about my body. My period still hasn't broken through and I am continuing this edit on 12DPO. I am having very heavy dark clotty spotting. I hope this doesn't indicate a problem with my tubes or my fibroids or some sort of blockage like endometriosis. I am very scared of that. I hope this is just my cycle continuing to adjust after cutting back on nursing.

I've decided to take a cycle to just chill out about the whole thing. I really hope I can have another baby. I am starting to seriously worry about the possibility of secondary infertility. Something I never feared before. Hope I'm wrong.

I believe that I am pregnant

Not because of any science really although I did ovulate on CD15 which is when I ovulated with Tor and most of my other cycles. We had really good timing. I've been eating really well, sleeping better, getting exercise, taking my vitex and B6 religiously. I am doing acupuncture once a week and did fertility yoga up until ovulation. I'm a bit nervous to do so in the TWW but I am doing some poses now to help circulation. I just feel like a holiday baby is in our future. Two people who started trying around when I did just got their BFPs and I am going nuts waiting for mine! Not feeling out shadowed though. There is room for us all and I am actually very excited about all the awesome women on the December board. December 25th will be the due date for this baby which is crazy but Tor was late so I've no doubt this one will be too. I'm having all kinds of aches pains in my back and front, bad gas, shortness of breath, foods taste different, exhaustion beyond what is excusable. I am only 5DPO today though. Trying to remember what I experienced with Tor. It's hard aside from sore nipples and implantation spotting at around 11DPO or so. Anyway I won't be able to confirm until Sunday the earliest. It's gonna be a long week but tomorrow is hump day and I am Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!