Well in 4 days we will find out if our little miracle, our sweet little serendipitous baby, is a son or a daughter. I have a very strong feeling i am having a son. perhaps it is because i grew up with so many boy baby dolls, perhaps it is because so many have guessed that my baby's nub is a boys, perhaps it will be a fluke. Not sure but that is my feeling. That said, i LOVE baby girls so much and if this is not my daughter i do hope we have one some day. Stil, if i am meant to have two of a kind i will be thrilled. These will be my babies. And i pray that i can have more than one but no mater what i am grateful for this child. I love you baby, so much already. I wanted you so badly and I worked so hard and anguished so much to help make you a reality. In the end you were a surprise but i think it was my dilligent care of my body mind and soul, along with a lot of luck, that brought you to me.
In the trying to stay sane part, well that's due to hearing so many sad stories about women losing their babies or their own lives. One woman on my board, only 23, was killed in a snow mobiling accident recently. Another just found out her baby stopped growing at 16 weeks but was 23 weeks along when they found out. She had to be induced and say goodbye to her little girl. She had high BP and they were worried about neural tube defects due to bloodwork even prior to this but my god how awful. I hope she will be okay. My husband also had a coworker lose that baby at past 20 weeks. they terminated the pregnancy because of a heart defect. so sad. and so many others you hear about. So far my pregnancy has had no bleeding or complications. I always find the HB when i listen on my doppler (a god send once you get the hang of using it). In general i think our baby will be alright but these sad stories really rock you to the core. I just wish we could all have healthy babies.
I am gonna spend everyday enjoying my pregnancy and praying for the health and safety of my little one. I will take my vitamins and do my yoga and eat healthy and try to stay calm. i love you little son or daughter. I love you baby. I can't wait to meet you in 22 weeks (or whenever you decide to come out and play). You are the biggest blessing that my life has ever seen and that is saying a lot since i have seen so many. Thank you.
