Close enough, Far enough

I am 33 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. There is something so wonderful about this time. It's true that my body has become a big liability when it comes to accomplishing much of anything in my day. I get back and leg aches. I have trouble breathing when I try to sleep. I can't walk very far anymore without becoming tired and winded. Sometimes I wake up with numbness in my thighs. It's very challenging physically to be this pregnant and it will only get more so. Getting out of bed makes me feel like a bug on its back. It takes a couple of tries. Yet it's also such a great time. I am so close to meeting my sweet little girl. I feel her kicks and movements well. I have gotten to a point in my pregnancy where things are so much more secure than they were. I am excited to hold her, see her, have her safe in my arms. i am close enough to the birth and getting a big portion of my body back. its hard to have to be so careful all the time beause i am protecting this little life inside me. its hard not to be able to run or bend or jump. I also love that I still have some time. I am very excited to meet my daughter but I am also relishing this time without the chaos throwing a newborn into the mix is sure to bring. I still have most likely 7 or 8 weeks to enjoy spoiling my son. We snuggle deeply when we sleep and throughout the day. Our little family of 3 and a half ( the cat) enjoys a group cuddle on the couch and hysterical laughter over funny things my son or my husband say or do. The house is struggling a little bit but not like it will once I have a newborn and a toddler and no sleep. It still can look cute enough if I try. I can still make dinners and go on little lunch dates with my little boy. Today we went for pizza and he danced to 80s music whilst munching away at his slice. This morning I made fresh loose earl grey tea with reusable mesh bags I have in my beautiful mug. I may not sleep as well as I did prior to third trimester but I am still sleeping pretty damn good compared to what awaits me. I get 8 hours of sleep and then some. I am pregnant and have this big round belly for perhaps the last time in my life. It seems highly likely that's the case and I don't want to wish it away anymore than I want to wish away the newborn days ahead that will be my last. My son will be very hurt by sharing me so I am enjoying the chance to make him my all for as long a we have whilst still happy to know that he will indeed have the sibling that I've dreamt of for him.

It's a beautiful time. As the weeks go by it will get more and more intense. With a month and a half or so left it still feels like a calm before a storm. Something to wait in and cherish as I plan to cherish the storm as well. But with more ease.