Tiny dancer

I'm 19 weeks the day after tomorrow. almost halfway there! I am ashamed to say that  I can't remember exactly when I started feeling definitive movement with our son. I feel like it was after 20 weeks some time but I can't be sure. With this little girl I am very sure this past week that I am feeling real kicks and its wild! I forgot how amazing it is. It's also a lot more noticeable to me when it happens because my stomach isn't the watched pot it was with my first. With my son I was constantly on high alert but with a toddler to chase after and so much going on this time I can get got off guard by the kicks or my size. That's another big change this last week or so. I feel heavy and huge all of the sudden. I have more than 4 and a half months to go and grow but I'm already feeling a lot of pressure on my bladder and heaviness in my stomach. I am also having back pain earlier this time. I can't be sure but if feels like I may be experiencing Braxton Hick's contractions. I didn't really have those with my first pregnancy but this time I feel down tightening. I'm trying to up my intake of liquids as well as get the proper rest when needed.

In other news we had our anatomy scan last week and I am beyond thrilled to say that our little girl is looking in perfect health! It was such a relief really! Oh and she is definitely a girl. The sonographer said it herself as she showed us her little girl parts and then a bit later she even showed us her little ovaries! It amazes me to think that some of those eggs might be my future grandchildren and they are growing with her inside me now. I also read that she has a uterus now so I have a uterus inside my uterus! Very wild.

I find myself feeling a bizarre mixture of impatience and need to savor the moment. I guess that's what happens when you already have a child. He is my baby and the idea of him not being the baby and getting all of my attention is bitter sweet. I'm hoping it translates to him being closer with his dad and most of all that I am able to find a lot of ways to give him as much attention as possible. I'm so excited to meet this little girl and snuggle her but the impatience mostly comes from just wanting to get her here healthy and happy. Pregnancy is so beautiful but it's also a vulnerable state. So is parenting but its easier to keep an eye on your child when they are right there looking at you. Other than that I am in no rush. I am savoring this time with my son, more time with my husband, more time for me and what will most likely be my last pregnancy. So far I have been surprisingly good about taking photos and I even got her her own baby book. It's very special because its made by Susan Branch. To me Susan and her books epitomize girly. They are beautifully water colored with amazing recipes, comforting sayings and crafts all throughout. I gave my sister one when she was having a particularly hard to in the late spring. They mean a lot to me. I get very excited about the idea of sharing these sorts of things with my daughter. I will share them with my son as well and I love trying to be that sort of mother who cooks ad decorates but I can already tell that my son is very wild. We did get him a dollhouse today. My husband found it when a woman was about to throw it out. It's exquisite and he really loves it. More than anything he just likes to push open and shut the windows or push his little figurines through the doors but its delightful to see. It also made me fall more in love with my husband to see how much he was thinking of our son and how excited he was. It's not a small dollhouse and usually he is so adamant that we dot bring big things in the house. It was sweet. The dollhouse though is really the only girly persuasion my son has. He is super affectionate and plays with his dolls a bit but mostly he loves trucks and cars and planes and very boyish toys. He has been such a sweetheart lately its been really fun. I understand that my little girl may end up even less interested in girlish things than I am but I do think her being a girl puts the odds slightly more in my favor. We shall see. If not then its lucky that I do love boyish things as well. While she is little though ill enjoy making her girly in all the ways that I enjoy! Girly with an edge!