this weekend i saw friends and i was further motivated to stay on my planning course by their stores. one couple i know have been trying for a baby since april. she went off the pill that same month and they started trying immediately. they have not had success yet and they just had blood work done to make sure all is well. she has had a lot of extreme stress at her job which may have contributed along with only being off the pill a short time. she is 37 and he is 29. she hasn't really been charting her cycle. they are a set example of proof to me that having these basic facts handy and understood in advance can really help things along. not to say that there couldn't be other issue either way but since they have been talking about this for a year and she is of advanced maternal age it might have been nice for them to have been able to rule these things out sooner had they went off the pill sooner and perhaps gotten earlier blood work or quit smoking and drinking sooner. not that i criticize them because to each their own. they told me and my husband about this awful partying couple and how they got accidentally pregnant and how annoying it was to her. it's totally annoying and further proof that what happens for others means nothing for ourselves. we have to only hope for the best but expect nothing no matter how much we think we will never be one of those people who struggles. i only know myself well enough to know that i feel comfortable with a lot more prep work. i am sending big baby dust to those too. they will make great parents!
i also found out that my friend who is pregnant had been trying since September of 2010 but she didn't actually chart or pay attention to cycles until two months prior to their conception which seems to be in may. to me that indicates that no matter what we would like to believe, it's always gonna be easier for a woman to conceive when she has sex at the right times.
some sadder news was meeting up with an old colleague and friend who has been caring for her mother with Alzheimer's Disease. she is 36 and has been giving her whole life over to her mothers care. she has always wanted a child her whole life but this has made relationships and the idea of caring for a child alone impossible for her. it was heartbreaking to hear. she hasn't had a period in months. again, i commend her dedication but i can't help but think that i would do things differently. she has given her life for her mothers and as sad as that is and as much as she doesn't want to ruin her mothers quality of life by putting her in a home clearly she has forsaken her own quality of life and future i the process. it's not too late yet and she is open to many procedures including donor sperm. i just hope she doesn't miss her chance trying to fight for her mother who already is slipping away. she has a chance for her own future and i think she would be a great mom and could find love and happiness too if she let things go a bit more. i am sending her all my well wishes. what a terrible thing to go through. she lost her father very young too and her brother seems to be only minimally helpful. sending her baby dust and the hope for many improvement too!
so i am calmer now but still very active in doing what i can. i had a very odd period this month. two days of pink spotting starting the 27th day and then my period finally came with a vengeance on the day it was due. this is only my second month off the pill and so it seems i am ovulating but i can't really be certain just yet. i took the FIRST RESPONSE FERTILITY TEST on the 3rd day after the spotting started but i am saving the second stick for next cycle because im not sure i trust the reading since my period usually only has one day of spotting. it read me as normal FSH levels. we shall see. by months 4-6 of charting i feel like i will have a better true indication of my cycles. i did, for fun and for ballpark planning, check my ovulation dates starting may (when we are to begin trying) and i several months worth including guesstimated due dates. obviously these can change based on how my next few cycles go but here they how. how exciting to think we might be trying for a baby on these dates.
| Fertile days | Resulting due date |
|---|---|
| May 3, 2012 - May 8, 2012 | January 27, 2013 |
| June 1, 2012 - June 6, 2012 | February 25, 2013 |
| June 30, 2012 - July 5, 2012 | March 26, 2013 |
| July 29, 2012 - August 3, 2012 | April 24, 2013 |
| August 27, 2012 - September 1, 2012 | May 23, 2013 |
| September 25, 2012 - September 30, 2012 | June 21, 2013 |
who knows what will happen when the time comes and what we will go through. i have no way of predicting that. what i do know is that i am as prepared as i can be, my child will be 100% wanted and planned, and i have the wonderful gift of being married to the love of my life who will always be there for me and i for him no matter what we go through. that is something that, though i have always believed it, has really sunk in and been sent home for me these past few weeks. after our struggles and our panic on each side of this journey we have both come to such a wonderful place of love, respect and honor. i feel very good about what i have. so good that i know that so long as we give it our all and see it through in every way possible, the outcome will be okay. it's all i ever dreamed of in life and no matter how much i worry about being of advanced maternal age, the plain fact is that i wouldn't trade it in a million years if it meant i couldn't experience it with this man. the love of my life. my soul mate. he is what makes this so right. i love you husband!!!!
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