EGG

Well yesterday I got my first official TTC egg on my monitor. I also got a negative OPK after a positive the afternoon of the 17th so I am hoping we timing things right. It seems like we got O-3, O-2, and O-1 but we may have gotten O-2 as our last date because I got another egg today but another negative OPK. Time will tell. I was gonna push the issue and we may DTD today but I honestly feel like yesterday would have been the only potential and that's so since passed so I'm not gonna push for it. My husband has already informed me that I am now pregnant. I feel kind of like I am too but of course I feel nervous admitting that. Like I might jinx it. As if I have that much control over the outcome hahaha. My CM was good this month and I ovulated seemingly on day 17 which is so much nicer than day 20 or 21 which was happening before. I'm wondering if the B Complex I started taking last month along with afternoon weaning this month has helped. I have also been sleeping a bit better.

So now we wait. I think I may start testing around the 30th or 31st but its temping not to go sooner. I'm already analyzing pulling and twinges which I know are only in my head. I'm nervous about my progesterone and my LP because I got my friend at 8DPO last month which is not conducive to pregnancy.

Then there's my head. Deep down I want another lucky miracle baby on our first try the most. I would love to start my journey and know it will happen.  I want to be done with the stress of TTC and TI and all that it entails.

Another part of me is nervous because I'm scared to be pregnant with a toddler. Giving up my body again and my freedom to eat and drink and run and be nuts with abandon is hard. I am not a relaxed pregnant person. I wish I could be the pregnant woman who can eat sushi, drink lattes and run marathons sometimes but that will never be me. Once I am pregnant I will be nervous until we do an ultrasound and then nervous until we get out of the first trimester.

So there are reasons to be happy on both sides. Mostly I just want this! But I know getting pregnant on the first month is highly unlikely. Especially twice! So I made plans to have girls only drinks and sushi with a friend if I get my period. From there we can move on and I just pray that within the next 6 months we get pregnant! Here's hoping!!!!