Spotting and Cramping and bitching OH MY

It's hard not to have my hopes up still as I google implantation bleeding and feel all of these ONS like symptoms which are not typical for me but deep down I know what's happening. I'm getting another early period with another super short luteal phase. Not being pregnant this month is very disappointing but the most disappointing part is that it might also include a short luteal phase with a lot of spotting before my period. I worry about hormonal issues keeping my baby dream at bay for a while. I'm being a spoiled baby I know. I had it so easy with Tor. I need I try to just enjoy my little bit and stop stressing out and obsessing but it's hard. Part of me feels like if it doesn't happen soon in gonna meet resistance from my husband again. I don't see that happening though at this point so ill try to keep faith. I wish I could be a o with the flow type of person.