The Clock strikes Twice

A LOT has happened since my last post so very long ago.  First of all a I have said in past posts but couldn't have even mildly captured the amazing love that is having my son. It is a love like nothing I have ever known before. It has changed me forever and made me whole. It has made me a woman.

Not long after my son was born my husband had some doubts about a second child and I mourned this and was not sure we would survive it. I knew that I needed the chance to be a mother at least once more and to give me son a sibling. It took many months of pain an fighting and crying but as my husbands bond with our son grew he became more and more willing to have another child. I never relented in my desires.

I am happy to say that as of last summer we decided to have another child and this month is the month that we will start trying to make that dream a reality.

I'm very nervous. It was fortuitous and with ease that my son came to us. Now it's much more of a plan. Since givin birth my cycles have been a bit off. 32 days instead of 29 with a 10 day luteal phase instead of a 12-14 day one. My last cycle was only 26 days with an 8 day phase. I was taking a B complex vitamin that got me to ovulate on day 18 last month instead of 20 or 21 but 8 days is worse than 10. I think I may still give the B complex another shot this month.

On top of the changes in cycle there is the fact that I am still nursing my son. We are currently weaning him for 7 hours in the afternoon. Hopefully this will help balance my hormones a long with improving my diet, exercise meditation. I need to work on stress and sleep. In the back of my mind I always feel a bit of concern regarding my AMH test from a two years ago. I was 34 then and I am 36 now. Is my AMH lower now or fsh higher? Are my eggs okay? I can't worry about it though. All we can do is try and pray. I know people with high AMH who have conceived and I know people in their late 30s and even 40s who have conceived rather quickly. I'm willing to try clomid or IUI or anything we can afford. We shall see. I hope my husband is willing too. I hope his loyalty to this doesn't waiver. I hope we can have and maintain at least one more healthy pregnancy and birth. At least one more healthy beautiful child to love and to be a companion for our sweet son.

Time  will tell. In about 10-12 days we can begin to try.