limbo is sucking so much right now. it's not that i don't have things in my life that i enjoy, it's just that all the things that i truly want are things i have to wait a while for and the stuff in between just feels so forced. i mean, i love sewing and have been wanting to sew a maxi dress for myself and an apron. so sewing is one thing i can organize myself better about and perhaps utilize as a fulfilling outlet for now and down the line. I also want to get in shape after having a good ol time piling on a few post wedding lbs. i am only about 5 or 10 pounds more than id like so it's a pretty modest amount but none the less it makes me feel yucky and its a worthwhile goal. i have gotten off to a rocky start, but see slow improvements. i think after my intense pre-wedding program i and just really bored by the whole process and finding it a bit harder to get and stay motivated. i also feel very stuck being here in new york and much like my senior year in high school i have that impatience that comes with knowing a big change of scenery is on the horizon. it's hard to stay in the moment when you are longing for the many new adventures that you see in the distance.
thinking about my honeymoon does help. i am more excited than ever at the prospect of 3 weeks abroad in two beautiful new worlds. i have to start doing some more specific planning soon including updating my passport so that is something i can do while i wait but it's still hard. with a a full 3 and a half months to go there isn't much to sustain me while i wait. still it's something and its on my list.
i also have to get cracking on some apartment inspections and improvements. needless to say, none of this is very exciting to me but it is important stuff to consider before getting too many steps ahead of myself where a honeymoon and a move are concerned. 3 months and 6 months may feel like an eternity right now but they will probably sneak up on me quicker than i expect and i will kick myself if i don't use this time wisely.
my husband and i have been married for 3 months and it's funny because it feels both longer and shorter. our wedding seems as if it was only yesterday but i also feel so comfortable with him and with being his wife that i don't really believe it has been only 3 months of this as the reality. it's a dream come true and something i don't take for granted. i may be ready for the next steps but don't have amnesia and i remember how long and arduous a journey i had to take to get to this point. it was all worth it and i am ready for a change but i am VERY HAPPY and GRATEFUL for all that i have in my life. It will be interesting to see how this year end and what next tear brings.
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